So I haven't updated in a while, sorry about that. But now I'd like to jump right in to answering a question from a very special reader:
Dear Ava:
I recently graduated college and I'm currently looking for work in a difficult market. I've had a few interviews, but no offers so far. I'm also single and lonely but I am afraid to go out looking for a boyfriend when I'm not currently supporting myself, because I don't want to seem like I'm just looking for someone to leech money off of. Do I need to put my whole search for love on hold until I find employment?
Lonely and Jobless
Dear Lonely and Jobless:
These are tough times, and I certainly feel your pain about not having a job. It is true that if you are too forward about your romantic intentions with someone, especially if they are "economically desirable", it could come across as financially motivated. If you would like to avoid this perception, you have to take your relationships slowly and show a lot of interest in getting to know the man and not his wallet. Responsible men can tell who is interested in them personally and who is sizing up their potential earnings by what kinds of questions they ask. Try to focus on the man's personality and what his interests are, don't ask too many questions or be overly interested in things like where he lives, the size of his house/apartment, his car, etc. If the topic of his career comes up, try to focus more on what he does and how much he likes it, rather than how much responsibility he has and if he is in charge. Also talk about your own job search and how it is going, this way he knows that you are putting in effort, and eventually your hard work should pay off. If you are genuine about these things, men will be able to pick up on it, and you seem like someone who is genuinely interested in (and capable of) taking care of herself. Best of luck!
Ava Rose
